Tuesday night, in the kitchen

Woman 1: “Look, don’t worry about it- you know you’re right, I know you’re right and so if anyone else thinks differently, they can just fuck off”

Woman 2: “I know, I know, but it’s hard not to worry that people will be all ‘nerr’ about it behind my back – I know they won’t but you can’t help but worry if you’ve opened your big gob AGAIN”

W1: “stop worrying about it and drink your wine… Where are the mushrooms?”

W2: “In the cupboard on the left of the oven. So, what EXACTLY did the email say? Was it like ‘I’m asking because I’m interested’ or ‘I’m asking because secretly I just want to know what’s going with her because I’m a nosey bitch’?”

W1: “ No no no, it was really nice and just out of concern for you. Honestly. … argh, where’s the fucking pepper… ah here it is. Literally, they can just bugger the shit off if they think you’ve done it wrong. Work-people are always a nightmare anyway, so just don’t worry about it. ”

W2: “Well, its not like I’ve paraded it around or anything, or rubbed it in anyone’s face, or pissed anyone off knowingly, so I sort of feel like its not really anyone’s business, you know? I wonder if I should email the group and say something like ‘thank you for being so concerned about me, but its all ok, and I got the promotion and no one minds blah de blah’ to shut them all up? Where’s the rest of the wine?”

W1: “fridge”

W2: “cool, fags?”

W1: “table”

W1: “It’s like what happened to me with the whole ‘sarah-moving-departments’ nightmare, and its all fine now, you just find out which people are twats and which people you know you can rely on next time. And if they’re twatty about it, then whatevs man. Stuff like that always comes out in the wash and the people who were horrible always come out worse off. Just play it calm and nice”

W2: “Fine, you’re right. I know that really, I just want to punch people in the face when they react so badly to stuff like that… Do we want to put chilli in this, or shall we just stick to garlic and stuff?”

W1: “ooh chilli, good idea… yeah, I know, but just remember you’re the one who got it, you deserved it and you earned it fair and square. If anyone wants to say different, they can suck your balls, you know?”

W2: “fair point. SO, more wine? And tell me about what that bloke said when you bumped into him on the tube the other night.”